Frequently Never Asked Questions©

Submit your questions here. We will frequently never get back to you.

1.
Do you base your characters on real people?
As opposed to what?
2.
Are you religious?
Are you stupid?
3.
Are you really from the third world?
Is there a fourth?
4.
May I quote you?
Are you authorized to invoice?
5.
Do you always reply to a question with a question?
Do I?
6.
Do the printed copies really exist?
Yes, but they’re currently stranded on a different metaphysical plane—third world bureaucracy, you see.
7.
Are you open to translating The Professor into other languages?
Yes, I would love to have it translated into English first.
8.
Is it true the dog ate the index?
Yes, along with the laptop. The middle finger is available, though.
9.
Between Moonshine and Falley who does President Trump resemble the most?
Quincy.
10.
Tell us about your pigeons.
They are best served sautéed. Au vin.
11.
Why 1564?
Anno damnationis. The Prince was indexed.
12.
Are you optimistic about the future?
Go ply your trade elsewhere.